I am an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, living with a family comprising spouse and two children. Every day has been the repetition of the previous day, tomorrow I don't know. If I predict what will be tomorrow, God will laugh. No day comes different from the previous day. I am moving or carried on a predetermined path. I have no bad habits, or say no habits; no friends, no social activities, no entertainment (not even watching TV), no internet, no face book account, no mobile apps. I wonder what is the meaning of my life. Even if I live for another 10-20 years, or I die today, it does not make any difference. Why? I am facing a crisis of existence.
I started my career very early in my life. I joined my career at the bottom step of the ladder and with my hard work and sincerity to the job and institution; I am now at the middle level of my career. I have had sufficient dose of frustrations and agonies for not being able to move further in the career. Still I am successful in the career.
Of late I have started asking myself whether I know myself and what is really important to me. Does my life have any purpose? If I die today, what mark I can leave for at least my immediate successors to know about me. I believe that human life is not to end up just like any other animal on the earth.
I have only a couple of friends before whom I can open my mind. And there is only one friend I talk every day for more than a decade. For may years, subject of our talk has been changing the course of our lives and the way should live. Today morning he called me up from far off and challenged me to rediscover myself and chase my dreams, if I have any. His phone call made me thinking about my dreams. I was shocked to understand that I have no dreams. Then my memory brought forward the story of Randy Pausch, author of “The Last Lecture”. He describes in the book how it is really essential to achieve the childhood dreams.
I looked back. A second shock wave hit me – I have completely lost my childhood dreams. But I sat back and recollected some of my childhood dreams which are:
1. Wearing a pants and have a pair of footwear.
2. Studying in a polytechnic
3. Writing stories
4. Make my neighborhood alcoholic free
5. Follow the principles of Mahatma Gandhi
6. Making a public speech
7. Getting a bicycle
Silly it may sound but a great dream for me those days, almost 40-45 years back, when we had no TV, telephone, computer, internet, etc. etc. Of the above most of the major dreams are realised. My most cherished dream, ie, writing stories, still remains unfulfilled. How and why I lost that dream? My friend has shook me up, pulled me down from my comfort zones. In order to withstand his attacks, I want to attempt writing.
I dedicate this to my good friend.
( Isn't Mr.DV Thayyil a true representative of many of us ? Haven't we too forgotten our childhood dreams? Aren't we too facing such a crisis of existence? Don't we too have a friend like the friend in this article? Have we listened to him?
Team attemptNwin waits for more inspiring articles from DV Thayyil. While wishing Mr. DV Thayyil all the best, let us too try to find out the purpose of our life.
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